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Search term x. Regístrate gratis. But I always felt that there was something missing, so when I came out, it was like i was re-living my adolescence.
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I was playing around with ladies, I had girlfriends but i could not be faithful because i fell in love with other girls all the time. But, finally, I met one of my great lovers and we moved together. It was around the year of , I did not use anything myself at first, I was against that and also afraid of drugs. But in those circles among the people I was at that time, it was very common with drugs, and I had a well-established life with work, girlfriend, home, social status, I thought I was safe.
It started with my girlfriend and I spent weekends with friends and used on festive occasions. The more gigs I had, the more drugs came into our lives. Slowly but surely, the party drugs became part of our daily lives. With that, I also came into contact with drugs that were very common in the club world.
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My family was unaware for many years that I used drugs, but finally I could not hold the facade anymore. When I went to Barcelona for a period to play at clubs, the consumption of drugs became worse. Wherever I went to play there were drugs in abundance. It was cocaine, ecstasy, speed, weed, uppers, downs…everything. At the same moment, I realized that I will not be able to survive unless I ask for help.
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I asked for help and ended up in a rehab. I was there for eight months. It was the toughest time ever in my life, but the same day I came there my life started to change. There I learned all about the disease of addiction. When I left rehab I started my life all over again, but clean. I had become someone I did not want to be. I was not trustworthy, I started to loose gigs and jobs, I lost a lot of values and I felt lost in almost every aspect of my life. I had to go back to Stockholm and tried to end using on my own.
Unfortunately, I failed to quit on my own, I started again and this time it was worse. I thought I could never be a DJ anymore. I associated it with drugs and the destructive life I had lived. My first years as clean I could not listen to music and I felt very lost and afraid of everything, but eventually I became safer in myself.
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My true passion for music started to take place again, I started working with music again, as a teacher. I started listening to music again to stop being afraid of it, it took the command and instead, it became my channel for creativity. I started playing in small places where I felt safe with the organizer and let him or her know that I do not drink and use drugs.
Outing myself was my way of keeping me safe. It gets me high, filling me with energy and endorphins in a completely natural way! I never want to change anything, to keep it, I need to take care of myself in every way I can. I live a healthy life today, surrounds me with people who are interested for similar things in life. I want to see myself in the mirror without regrets and live my life in the honest, clean way I can.
In the past, when I used, I was afraid of all kind of feelings, especially pain.
Today I am more alive and more present than ever. It was in rehab I understood how badly in shape I really was-both physically, mentally and spiritually. I was in a rehab in Stockholm. It was detox first for a week and then therapy every day in a group but also individual conversations.
Basically I had used since the age of 24 and until the age of 39 so I had to reprogram myself and I wanted to survive. I learned there that I have the addiction disease and that I needed help and could get it there if I did what they told me to do.
I decided to fully trust the therapists, I had nothing to lose. I had to meet myself on all levels and it was painful, but I received good help. That was hard to hear and I got really afraid but that kept me motivated! I stayed at intensive rehab for 2 months and after that I was transferred to a halfway house. A halfway house is an institution that allows you to learn or relearn the necessary skills to reintegrate into society. As well as serving as a residence, halfway houses provide social, medical, psychiatric, educational, and other similar services.
When I came to Rehab I had basically lost everything. But I had hope, even though it was small, that I could get help there. We were about 16 patients and when the therapist said,. After six months in the halfway house, it was time for me to move back to my own home. I did not want to leave, I had found a security there, but at the same time it was time for me to slowly start living the normal life again.
The first time was really hard, I was anxious and could not find my place in who I should be. I had to start over very carefully, I soon began to work to keep me occupied at school as a teacher, and I went every evening to twelve-step meetings to keep me clean. What helped me doubtless was and still does, is twelve-step meetings. Life is not always easy and it goes way too fast, but I love to live and experience things with a present mind, no matter what.
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Read the full interview at www. Eventually, the anxiety disappeared and got replaced by lust for life, joy and curiosity. I have a wonderful life and most of all I feel free inside. This summer I celebrated 10 years clean and what I have experienced over these 10 years has taught me a lot. Beach, gastronomy, party, culture and art are in the program!
Do you want to participate and enjoy the whole Festival? Tickets for advance sale are what you need! Djs — animation — self defense — yoga — paddle surf -volleyball — work-out — team games.
Calle Palangres, 7, Can Pastilla. Private party with all festival artists in a private country house with pool with open bar and barbecue. Transfer included.
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LUNES Dj, sol, bebidas, paddle surf, kayak, snorkel … barra libre y tapas incluidas We will enjoy an afternoon on the oldest sailing boat of the spanish fleet just for us with which we will sail along the coast of palma and surroundings. Dj, sun, drinks, paddle surf, kayak, snorkel… open bar and tapas included. Excursion to the center of the island to visit a not-for-profit organization that works with a growing community of people who seek to live from the bounty generated by natural ecosystems, learning and working collaboratively to regreen mallorca, by designing for the future using the permaculture ethics and principles.
Excursion to a protected natural site of the island with a delicious meal.
ELLA Travel is the 1st lesbian tourism section within international tourism fairs. After a successful 3rd edition in FITUR Madrid , we will be in ITB Berlin for the second time proudly representing all the companies and destinations that want to reach the lesbian market. Bellaverde p. Marcabrera pag.